


breaking point

by planetsaints



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, this was old and a vent but i kinda like it so pls no bully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 19:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18349757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetsaints/pseuds/planetsaints
Summary: good fucking night.





	breaking point

_  Words _

_  Terrible words _

_  Naughty boy _

_  Heheh _

_  iNSANE _

 Blood pumping

 Out of the flesh

 Heart pounding

 Pumping more blood

 Out of the flesh

 Saeran ran the sharp, ceramic blade over his arm. The knife was far too eager to slit some flesh open, allowing red plasma to touch the oxygen engulfed air and breathe.

 Breathe better than the lungs that it pumped to and around.

_ Giggle giggle _

_ iMages flash _

_ young and free once _

_ Well _

_ i Wasn't _

 Should he continue?

 iT wasn't like Saeyoung would NOTiCE he was dead anyway. RiGHT?

 NOTHiNG STRANGE ABOUT A CORPSE iN THE BATHROOM, RiGHT?!!

 NOTHiNG FRiGHTENiNG!!!!

Switching arms!!

 First it was the left arm, now it was time to OBLiTERATE THE OTHER ARM!!!!

 Ceramic blade.

 Down the paling flesh.

 Veins split and pumping out red liquid.

 Beautiful, red liquid. Spurting out, all over the wall and floor.

 There was screaming echoing in his mind.

_  Do it. _

_ Do it. _

_ Do it. _

_ Do it. _

_ DO iT!!!!!!!! _

 Saeran looked to his left. A bottle of pills. He picked it up, his vision pulsating, and his heart slamming against his chest from the major blood loss he'd caused himself. Hands trembling horribly, Saeran managed to get the bottle open, and shakily lifting the bottle up to his mouth.

 "Bottoms up... he giggled," he giggled. As he downed as many pills as he could, with several falling out of his mouth and to the bloody floor, the echo of a familiar voice rang, though it was a bit muffled.

 "SAERAN, ANSWER ME, DAMMiT!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOiNG!!!!????"

 There was banging. Sounds of a fist banging against wood.

 Muffled speech.

 "Saeyoung, what the fuck are you banging o... or!?"

 Some speech was garbled.

 Distorted.

 Cutting in and out of hearing.

 "Mi-Cha, he's... kill himself!!"

 "WHAT!!?? SAERAN!!"

 More banging.

 Heh.

 Saeran started to giggle. The knife was in his hand again.

 He'd yet to even touch his upper arms. Oh, how that was going to change.

 "Mi-Cha, I can smell blood, it's a fuc... strong smell, he's already..."

 "Keep trying, Saey...!! We'll get i... there!!"

 Saeran dragged the blade, horizontally, straight through the middle of the eye on his tattoo—a modernized version of the Mint Eye logo—and he was giggling the whole while.

 REALLY, iT WAS A MiRACLE YOU HAVEN'T PASSED OUT YET

 Saeran kept laughing; even his own laughter faded in and out from hearing. Blood loss did indeed fuck with your senses.

 He kept slicing his arm up, specifically where the tattoo was.

Boom. Crash.

_ There goes the door, you dumb FUCK. YOU'VE BEEN DiSCOVERED!! ENJOY!! _

 "SAERAN, OH MY GOD!!!!"

 The knife was ripped out of his hands. The ceramic knife SHATTERED as it hit the splattered wall.

 "Saeran, you iDIOT, what were you—fuck, there's so much bl...!!"

 "Saeran..."

 "Mi-Cha, _gugeubcha_ _bulleojuseyo!!_ "

 It took Saeran quite some time to register the voice as Saeyo... what was his name again...?

 "Oh, Sae... Saeran, please..."

 Arms were wrapped around Saeran's spastic, insane body. 

 "Saeran, dammit..."

 Saeyo-something sounded like he was... crying?? His voice was choked–oh. iT was coming.

 Saeran felt every muscle in his body just... give out. He went limp in Saeyo-something's arms.

 "Sae...n!!!!???? Saeran!!?? No... no no no no!! Saeran!  _ Neo ma hanteseo jugji ma!!!! _ "

 Black.

 His vision was fading to black.

 How... how lovely...

 Yelling. Thudding. Moving. 

 Saeran was now lying on his side, and everything was moving swiftly passed him.

There's no point in holding on. Going to DiE.

_  Beep... beep... beep... _

 "... ran..."

 "Sae...!"

 Saeran's eyes blearily opened.

 "Oh... you're aw...e!"

 Brown hair, straight bangs. Focus, Saeran!!

 "M... Mi-Cha...?" Saeran choked out.

 "Yes, it's me..." Saeran felt M.C. cupping his cheeks gently. Her voice was slowly becoming less and less muffled and distorted. "Do you have any idea how worried you had us? Saeyoung had a panic attack in the ambulance..."

 Saeyoung... that's what his name was.

 "Saeyoung... where... where is he...?" It was difficult for Saeran to grasp any hold on consciousness. Was he even fully awake?

 "He's in another room, calming down..." M.C. answered, "I'd get him, but you're not allowed to be alone..."

 "Why...?"

 "You're seriously going to ask me that?" M.C. sighed, "being alone is the reason you're here in the first place."

 Saeran grunted in response. He tried to lift his head up, only to be hit with a slamming headache that forced his head back down.

 "Don't try to get up, you'll just strain yourself..." M.C. murmured, "just... stay down, okay?"

 "How much... how much blood..."

 "They said a bit more than two litres... around 46% percent of your full blood supply..." M.C. answered, "you were so close to dying, Saeran... your brother said he was going to kill himself if you didn't make it..."

 Saeran's heart sank into his Chet. Saeyoung wouldn't seriously do that... would he!?

 "He didn't... mean it..."

 "He was dead serious..." M.C.'s brown amber eyes stared into Saeran's own golden ones*. "I think that was another reason why they isolated him for a little bit... they were frightened he would find a way to do it here."

 "Hm..." Saeran mumbled, "... I want... I want to see him..."

"We'll have to wait for a nurse to come back... like I said, you can't be alone," M.C. responded. She brushed some of Saeran's hair out of his face and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

 "Won't Saeyoung get..."

 "Shh... it's a comfort kiss, Saeran..." M.C. gave him a small smile, "Saeyoung knows that..."

 There was a knock at the door. 

 "Yung Mi-Cha? How is he doing?"

 M.C. looked over to the door; a nurse was peeking in. "Oh, Nurse Xi*, good timing. Do you know where Saeyoung is?"

 "I just came back from sedating him," responded Nurse Xi, "he was threatening some serious things..."

 Saeran's heart pretty much stopped at that point. Saeyoung wasn't that afraid of Saeran dying, was he?

 "Oh..." M.C. mumbled, "can... can you bring him in here...?" she asked, "Saeran is awake... he wants to see him."

 "I can have Saeyoung moved in here, but bear in mind he won't wake up for a while," responded Xi.

 "We can wait. Saeran can rest while Saeyoung is unconscious."

 "Very well." Xi turned and left.

 M.C. turned back to Saeran. "Why don't you sleep for a bit, Saeran? You need your rest... otherwise, you'll never recover."

 Saeran sighed. "Don't want to sleep... 'm not tired..."

 "You won't get better."

 "Don't care..."

 "Saeran."

 "Hmph..."

 "Saeran Choi, you will never touch another computer in your life if you don't rest."

 Saeran glared at M.C. for a moment, before sighing and closing his eyes. "Whatever..." he mumbled. Though he really did want to sleep. Sleeping meant he got to see Saeyoung, conscious and not in a total panic. To Saeran, that was pretty much the only thing worth waking up for.

**Author's Note:**

> see when i was reading this over for the first time it felt like a roller coaster not because i invoked emotions and im tooting my own horn but because jesus christ it goes too fast for me


End file.
